Day of the Dead

Went walking in the woods today with the kiddies. As we went down the hill, the wind blowing, I stopped suddenly.

"Listen!", I said. "Do you hear the wind whispering?"

And the wind rustled all the dried leaves in the oak trees around us. It was beautiful.

"Yes," Lola answered. She stopped for a good 5 seconds, listening intently.

"What is it saying?" I asked.

Thinking, she answered, smiling, "Whoooosh!!"

Now to make tempeh and set up our altar. Maybe I can get cookies baked...

Carrie's Baby #2

Woo hoo! Carrie had her baby a few days ago. Welcome Baby Cassidy!

Are We Having Sex?

Lola, my three year old, is still learning her pronouns. This means that she will sometimes replace "me" for "I", "you" for "I", "we" for "you", etc.

She has also learned about how babies are made and how they grow, discussions that we initiated and questions we answered throughout my pregnancy and after Pearl's birth.

Last night, Chris was happily hugging me from behind as I was looking out the window. Lola was eating at the table. She looked over at us and asked, "Are we having sex?"

Buy Mama Here

The local culture rag Volume One (http://volumeone.typepad.com/) has started a web site selling art, print, and other media by local creators (like, ahem, yours truly). Currently you can only buy back issues of Mama there, and they didn't post any text I sent them, but they're cool.

Here it is:
Volume One Stuff


They give me a little money for each one that sells, so buy 'em for your friends! Stocking stuffers for the thoughtful mamas among you. Whatever! I don't have any more back issues, so you gotta go through them if you want more Mama.

Now to email VO Dude about why my bio isn't there...

Sit, sort and fold

I never knew I could be so busy, and sit so often.

Nursing my velcro baby was never a real obstacle when it was only me and baby. Now with a 3 year old to care for, two kids' worth of diapers to wash every day, food to cook and almost nothing for pre-prepared meals, I feel overwhelmed a lot. This kind of fatigue is difficult to explain to parents who never breastfed, or who never breastfed exclusively without bottles, who don't use pacifiers, who throw their diapers in the trash each time, who can eat out a lot, who have family within easy driving distance, whose children enjoy cribs and playpens.

The work I do happens in short, hyper-efficient bursts: I amaze even myself at how much I can do in just 15 minutes: an entire sink full of dishes, start a load of laundry, feed the 3 yo, pick up clutter, get dressed. With 20 minutes I can take my time! Between bursts I read books to my daughter, drink coffee, nurse the baby, change a lot of diapers, eat, cook, read online stuff, work on my zine, go out with the kids to the park or library, put away and sort laundry - all one-handed. I have only busted my ass like this before for work-related activities, and never for all day until 8:00pm.

I cherish my "leisure" time, hours when Chris is off with L. at the homeschool co-op each Thursday. Having to take care of one is tremendously, breathlessly easy. And quiet. I can actually string thoughts together, sometimes more than two! It's a sweet life.

But I do take a certain amount of pride in being able to bust my ass like this at my advanced adult age of 36. My bounce has extra spring with my unusual resilience. This is probably result of the unshakable, kiss-my-round-ass parenting confidence factor, which I unfailingly developed at the tender age of 35. I strongly recommend stubborn, assertive confidence for whatever ails you, mamas. Nobody knows my children better than I do, no one. This does not mean I am infallible; only foolish mamas really believe in their omnitience. I do trust my intuition, though, about every important thing in my life, and my children's lives. No amount of research can persuade or dissuade my mama sense. It's refreshing,

You never know what you can do one-handed until you have to. Try it some time.

Off to sit somewhere else, to nurse, to sort and fold. . . laundry, silly.

Has Carrie had that baby yet??

Now, laughing

After days of fussy, crying baby, and sleeping times of dreams that make her cry, I was totally shocked last night when she belly-laughed in her sleep. She has previously chuckled during her waking hours, but never a full-out laugh. With a smile, and everything real.

It will change. I now know it.

Not that you care, but...

Now we've had our four minutes in court.

The Presiding Official declared that Chris was the father, that we had no Medicaid expenses for the birth, and that should we separate we will split equal custody of her. I love public assistance. The court doesn't give a crap about our first daughter because we didn't receive food stamps or Medicaid. This one gets the special treatment because - you guessed it - we're poor. And I got to nurse the baby the whole time!

In other news, some bread gives Pearl colic, as we learned today. And Lola is cranky when tired. And helping non-native English speakers with their artificially-translated essays is amazingly tiring, but still a good thing to do.

And let's hear it for the Wiggles. Are they gay or what? They're just too wholesome.

That's my boring life. Why in the hell is it so hard to just think?

Now I watch Kill Bill.

Never

A typical conversation in my house this week:

Mama: Do you want to eat potatoes with lunch? Or toast?

Three-year old: Yes. I do. Potatoes.

M: OK.

T: Noooooo! NO. I don't want potatoes!

M: OK. You can have toast.

T: Noooooo! No toast! I want potatoes!

M: OK.

T: Nooooo! I'll NEVER eat potatoes! Nooooo! (sobbing)

Etc.

Tomorrow we go to court so the state can tell us Chris doesn't have to pay child support because of too many obnoxious reasons to list now. More after our ten-minute adventure.

October

So much for the current blog thing. Life with the baby continues to amaze me as it changes constantly. She's 3 months old now! You'd think that the dynamic life of the mama if two would be old hat, but NO! Pearl is bigger, thoug still quite easily portable (thank you, unknown ancestors, for the small baby genes). She smiles and laughs, coos, gurgles, spits up a lot, and sometimes cries unconsolably. No, it's not colic, she's just got to express herself until she feels better.

In other news, my friend Carrie's baby is due any day now. Happy home birthing vibes to you, Mama.

My next issue of the zine has been delayed due to my lack of fast typing ability. One-handed typing works, but is so slow. And typing in the sling is not workable yet. The good news about all that is: 1) I'll be able to include my thoughts about Halloween, and 2) since it's taking me 5 times as long to finish this issue I can claim more hours for my Housing Authority community service requirement.

Just blame the patriarchy.
I Blame the Patriarchy


Even raising children can remind me of death, birth, and long cycles of change. And because mama loves you, I will one day write about this very phenomenon.

Now that I can, will post more often. Feel free to add comments.