Simon Says

I played the hand-held plastic version of this as a child. For hours. Obsessively.

It's still fun!

Simon Says

What's it like outside of linear time?

I've been making mulled wine occasionally over the last week, and I have to say it's very tasty. I use cardamom seeds, whole cloves, cinnamon sticks, and orange peel and whack it all to bits and throw it in to mull with some cheap red wine and honey. Tastes much better at room temperature, and after adding a little brandy.

And I've been mulling around the different-ness of these days between the Solstice and the two weeks after Christmas. Christians celebrate them as Christmas and some the 12 days after Christmas, but I prefer focusing on the changes at hand - loops of the sun, growing dim and returning; the cold hard death of the year and its inevitable return; loss; foolishness; the absence of linear time during sacred or special times of physical transition, such as the death of the year, or the death of one's father.

It is a joy to me that I was disappointed this Christmas. Because of this, Tata recognized my need and has, with his gifting to me each of the 12 days after Christmas, is celebrating the very transitions that make and remake: the world, my self, his own self; complete, of course, with all the accompanying emotions and responsibilities. It's really starting to feel sacred to me, my tears full of salt, my hands full of bread and wine.

correction

Ok, so I unearthed piles of crap and found a few christmas cards. Hooray! Too sorry for myself to find them before, I guess.

My apologies to all you good folks who might have felt pissed that I didn't notice you before.

Love, Kim

Merry

Christmas!

We had fun watching the girls open their gifts, a few of which were from "santa". Now, we don't do Santa - we don't claim he is real or rides a sleigh or has reindeer, etc. But this year both girls decided that they wanted to believe in Santa and pretend that he gives them gifts. So, dutifully, Santa gave them each one gift they really wished for. They were thrilled!

I made everyone personal cards that made them laugh or smile, which was super fun. A Birth Story for Pearl, A Love Letter for Lola, and a Mystical Vacation for Tata. Stick figures decorate every page... my favorite kind of drawing, since I am completely art- and craft-challenged. Plus PJs, clothes, and a writing-time gift for Tata. And despite the craziness of December, with my dad dying and being down there for his funeral, I managed to squeak out mailing cards to loved ones.

Warning: Pity Party Ahead

So I was feeling really good about giving so much this year, spending time making and doing for others. But then the pity party started: not one card. From anyone for any of us. The only gifts for me were a couple shells and a rock from the girls (which of course I appreciate, in a motherly sort of way) and a little hand-written note card from Tata. I also bought myself a couple of food stocking stuffers from "Santa" so I would definitely have something to open... but damn. Not one Christmas/New Year's card from anyone. It sucks that the year has been so sucky for everyone all around, and I have felt that, too. To all of you, in the midst of your own trauma, I am deeply sorry this has been such a hard month.

Today I am thankful that I had the energy to be creative for my loved ones, because that was totally fun. But I really like opening presents...

This afternoon we're off to a sledding party at a friend's house. With all the snow and sleet and ice, it should be a regular olympic luge track! I might bring mulled wine.

Update: Roads too treacherous to travel, and Tata was all ears when I talked about my disappointment. After a bit of talking he said he's going to do 12 days of christmas gifting with me! More than gifts, I feel like he cares about my need this holiday to open a gift.

It's funny, because no other years have I ever cared about whether I get a gift. This year my reaction was about how vulnerable I've felt, especially during this weird and sometimes stressful grieving time. Tata absolutely gets it. And that's why I love him.

Fanfares

So we returned from the events down south with much fanfare. Arriving in Madison we encountered the beginning of a blizzard, which continued through the next day. We left town once the roads were decent enough to travel, going 45 mph on the interstate from Madison to Menomonie. The only drivers were trucks, mostly, and the occasional car. It was exhausting.

And then, coming home around 7pm, we find our house/cat sitter had left flowers, a card, soup and corn bread, and a plowed driveway. Talk about relief.... Such a soulful end to our journeys.

And chaos, of course. Shadow was super happy to be home, and proceeded to eat the cat poop in the litter box when we weren't watching.

And then, the morning after.

Wake up to dog whining to go out, discover she has pooped and peed all over the floor -- the new rug, the carpet, big poops, diarrhea, evacuation city in her little body. And of course the girls had their weekly homeschool group that morning to prepare for, and I had to clean it all up and rush to meet them at the FLC so Chris could go earn a paycheck. So I managed to clean EVERYTHING, and the dog poops again, without warning. Chris cleans that one and I manage to do other things, like drink my coffee. Then my family leaves for FLC and I vacuum the little dried bits of cat litter off the carpet, pack up the dog in the car, and drive 40 minutes with poopy puppy. The kid trade off goes well, but pup doesn't make it all the way home again and poops on her bed in the car. Luckily I could just wrap it up and put it in the trunk and find a place to take her out to poop again. Poor thing healed up a few hours later after two doses of slippery elm paste. We've planned about 53 ways to barricade the bathroom door from the pup so this never, ever happens again.

Today was a vet appointment (not related to the cat poop eating incident), a play date, and a squint-inducing sinus headache all day for me. We are so ready for some down time, trying to find a couple of hours to not do anything and just be home and calm. Maybe Monday.

Finally, I recently burned a scented oil that smelled a little like spices and sweet and cinnamon and other stuff named "horned god altar oil" (made by the witchy folk at Vermorlian). Pearl comes up to me and says "Mmmmm, something smells like mints." Pause. "It makes me want to get married!"

Passed

After a couple hard nights, and the morning after we arrived to see him, my father died this morning, peacefully, among family. I was on my way over to his house from our hotel while he passed.

For any of you in the Belleville area, his funeral will be held at the Renner Funeral Home Monday, with visitation on Sunday afternoon and evening.

Things are kind of crazy, but not awful. The dog is a little bored - as witnessed by her chewing of the hotel bedspread which I'm sure costs at least $500 and which we will of course be responsible for paying replacement costs. Traveling with puppies has its costs....

Please email us if you need more info.