How do you sit? Day 5
Day 5
Well, Lola has got the bathroom thing down pretty well. She knows when she has to pee, even if she denies it when prompted.
Mama: "Lola I notice that you're walking around fast and not able sit. You haven't peed in a while. That usually means you have to pee. Let's go upstairs to the potty now."
4 Year Old: "NOOO!!!!! I don't have to pee! Noooooo! I don't have to pee or poop!!"
And, sometimes she actually initiates using the bathroom.
Lola, quietly, while standing next to me while I read email: "Sometimes we don't make it to the potty"
Me, dropping evertything: "Let's go now!"
But. She will not sit to pee or poop. This is getting old. And I would like to add the "thud" of poop hitting the floor as one of the things I hope to never hear again after my young children have grown. It's messy this way; I have required her to help clean the floor when she pees. She is still learning, we know, and we have tried logic and explaining how to sit and relax, but nothing has worked. We even resorted to bribes as motivation, my least favorite method, because we are getting very sick of her standing to pee and poop.
At least we aren't washing diapers for her. At least she pees in the bathroom. At least the bathroom is easy to clean. And at least she has stopped being really angry at us. And I do know that one day she will sit. And one day this will all be a dim memory.
Let me know if you have any ideas for helping her learn to sit. Oy.
Well, Lola has got the bathroom thing down pretty well. She knows when she has to pee, even if she denies it when prompted.
Mama: "Lola I notice that you're walking around fast and not able sit. You haven't peed in a while. That usually means you have to pee. Let's go upstairs to the potty now."
4 Year Old: "NOOO!!!!! I don't have to pee! Noooooo! I don't have to pee or poop!!"
And, sometimes she actually initiates using the bathroom.
Lola, quietly, while standing next to me while I read email: "Sometimes we don't make it to the potty"
Me, dropping evertything: "Let's go now!"
But. She will not sit to pee or poop. This is getting old. And I would like to add the "thud" of poop hitting the floor as one of the things I hope to never hear again after my young children have grown. It's messy this way; I have required her to help clean the floor when she pees. She is still learning, we know, and we have tried logic and explaining how to sit and relax, but nothing has worked. We even resorted to bribes as motivation, my least favorite method, because we are getting very sick of her standing to pee and poop.
At least we aren't washing diapers for her. At least she pees in the bathroom. At least the bathroom is easy to clean. And at least she has stopped being really angry at us. And I do know that one day she will sit. And one day this will all be a dim memory.
Let me know if you have any ideas for helping her learn to sit. Oy.
posted by Skim @ 7:32 AM
6 Comments:
At 1:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm guessing you've already tried the "what a big grown up girl you are" approach? Sidney really seemed to dig being told how grown up she was being and how little babies have to use diapers, but not her.....I'm guessing Lola will just get tired of cleaning the floor...esp. if cleaning her poop/pee becomes her job alone (yeah, I'm evil that way....making Sidney clean her messes...she'll be the first to tell you...)
Change can just be so painful though..
Hope that other than the "tales of the potty" things are going well. :)
Lynette
At 10:00 AM,
Skim said…
Lola never got into the "big kid" thing. I'm pretty sure she just isn't into all the changes that come with growing up, plus losing her dependence on us for her body (diaper changes). Her resistance is to independence.
But, on a brighter note, Chris got her to sit and stay seated by telling her he would leave her to do all clean up, dress herself, and to be by herself in the bathroom if she peed or pooped on the floor again this morning. It feels like there may be hope yet!
At 10:22 AM,
Skim said…
And I should add that although she is resisting independence through sitting, she has totally embraced getting on her own pants and undies! And snapping her own shirt. So, it's not all kinds of independence, just this one.
At 4:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
Some possibly useless information: I had an anthropology teacher once who talked about how some other cultures squat to deficate rather than sit as we do. I'd known this but he pointed out that once one has deficated in one manner for a long time it is difficult to use the other position because it uses muscles differently.
On a different note. Perhaps you could associate some sign of your continued contact with her as she becomes independent. Like a hug and kiss for using the potty properly. I could see how a kid could confuse independence with separation.
Childless man with uninformed ideas,
Jim
At 6:58 PM,
Skim said…
Jim,
I, too, have read about the squatting thing. And it's true. Its corollary is no diapers - learning what your babe's cue signs are for eliminating and helping them do it themselves. This, to me, is very fabulous, and I'm working with Pearl to catch her in the act so she is in diapers less.
However, you're right about the independence/separation conflict, as far as Lola goes. She seems to be working through it, though. Today was waaay easier than any other day so far. I have consistently touched her more often and every time she sits on the toilet, especially to reinforce my connection with her.
Now comes for the learning to poop part...
At 9:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
OH boy, we have been thinking about you all this week. I am sorry to hear that it has been rough, though it sounds like it is getting better. I don't have any good advice, after like, 5, mnms june was going consistently in the toilet. Well, pee anyway. She still has a hard time figuring out which muscles to use to poop sitting down.
I hope tomorrow is THE day when it all comes together. Louise
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