Gratitude and Generosity
My body is doing wonky things again. Usually I go for an adjustment, but my chiro's hours are just not meeting my needs. complaining about this unfortunate twist, Chris responded, "well, can you do anything yourself?". Why does it take me so long to figure these things out? so I've decided to really try to take care of myself as much as possible, so that I can walk without my knee hurting and sleep without back pain and turn my neck all the way to the right.
But I've also been experiencing physical symptoms of imbalance: biting the inside of my cheek while I eat. This only happens wehn I'm not taking care of something I need to take care of emotionally. It's stress-related for me, and now my task is to figure it out.
Somehow this is all connected to my feeling of immense gratitude. These last couple days have been extremely difficult for Pearl; she is fussing and crying and talking a lot! Last night she didn't sleep until after 10:30, and that was with the assistance of catnip tea right before we nursed and lay down for the night (for the second time...). In the middle of frustration and mild illness, I have been feeling overwhlemed at how lucky I am. I am living the life I dreamed about so many years - reading, researching, writing, playing, walking in the woods, thinking, being slow and fast and crazy and stressed and full of love. I owe no one nothing, not my time, not my children's time; my energy is my own! This is love. This is how I move from the life of the outwardly concerned, to the life of the contained-within that meets the outside. I love my children wholly. I cry to myself at naptime thinking about how I have made what I love happen, how this love is part of me, how it fills me with its breath, and I am surprised. How often does one get to experience making exactly what you need a reality? And how often does one actually find joy in the results?
MOTHERING'S HOLIDAY HELPERS
Speaking of finding joy, I'm participating in the most amazing online giving phenomenon through the Mothering discussion forums this year. If you are interested in surprising a mom and her family with a box of stuff she would like and/or need, please consider helping out.
Here is the link to find out more information. I've been on both sides of the giving and receiving for this tradition, and trust me when I say it feels wonderful to participate. Last year we were moved tremendously by the generosity of complete strangers. So much so that we made a committment to be givers, too, this year. I think you need to be a member to give, but it's never too late to join...
But I've also been experiencing physical symptoms of imbalance: biting the inside of my cheek while I eat. This only happens wehn I'm not taking care of something I need to take care of emotionally. It's stress-related for me, and now my task is to figure it out.
Somehow this is all connected to my feeling of immense gratitude. These last couple days have been extremely difficult for Pearl; she is fussing and crying and talking a lot! Last night she didn't sleep until after 10:30, and that was with the assistance of catnip tea right before we nursed and lay down for the night (for the second time...). In the middle of frustration and mild illness, I have been feeling overwhlemed at how lucky I am. I am living the life I dreamed about so many years - reading, researching, writing, playing, walking in the woods, thinking, being slow and fast and crazy and stressed and full of love. I owe no one nothing, not my time, not my children's time; my energy is my own! This is love. This is how I move from the life of the outwardly concerned, to the life of the contained-within that meets the outside. I love my children wholly. I cry to myself at naptime thinking about how I have made what I love happen, how this love is part of me, how it fills me with its breath, and I am surprised. How often does one get to experience making exactly what you need a reality? And how often does one actually find joy in the results?
MOTHERING'S HOLIDAY HELPERS
Speaking of finding joy, I'm participating in the most amazing online giving phenomenon through the Mothering discussion forums this year. If you are interested in surprising a mom and her family with a box of stuff she would like and/or need, please consider helping out.
Here is the link to find out more information. I've been on both sides of the giving and receiving for this tradition, and trust me when I say it feels wonderful to participate. Last year we were moved tremendously by the generosity of complete strangers. So much so that we made a committment to be givers, too, this year. I think you need to be a member to give, but it's never too late to join...
posted by Skim @ 3:11 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:29 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh, con-trair Mama. You do owe someone something. You must continue to do exactly as you are doing. That's what you owe me. Smoooch!
At 4:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
"I am living the life I dreamed about so many years - reading, researching, writing, playing, walking in the woods, thinking, being slow and fast and crazy and stressed and full of love. I owe no one nothing, not my time, not my children's time; my energy is my own!"
I loved reading that. So how *did* you make it happen?
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