I've joined the facebook borg, finally. I resisted for a long time, concerned about data mining and the CIA ties with the founders of facebook. So now that I've shown my paranoid freak flag, I surely am enjoying the applications. The old photos of friends, and the photos of old friends are simply wonderful.
And through this new facebook connectivity, I read my friend Carrie's blog, which she was kind enough to link to her facebook update. I usually read it without the facebook reminder, but prompted this time through facebook I found an entry of hers about the virtues of something I've been troubled about for a while: finding the right homeschooling community. My girls attend a weekly meeting of semi-structured activities of a local homeschooling parent co-op. While this has been and continues to be a fun thing for them to do, Chris has to take them because it gets so Loud I go into I-hate-this mode within minutes of being there. Plus, I don't really get along well with any of the parents. We chat, they are fabulous, wholesome people, but I don't truly connect with any of them. Carrie's message of perseverance, of searching until I find a group the kids AND I like has inspired me to reach out in a way I haven't so far.
I've contemplated craigslist notices, homeschooling email group notices, flyers at the library. The text would read something like this:
"Pagan unschooling mom of two children, ages 8 and 4, looking for interesting families to share unstructured play dates and companionship. Rural xxxx/western Wisconsin area, willing to travel for meet-ups. Radical politics, below poverty level, subversive, witty and counter-culture interest a big plus. Must be open-minded."
How do I find the radicals? The not-religiously-conservative? The cultural and gender subversives? The not-necessarily wholesome? I am still thinking about it. But if you know any like-minded folk...
Once I let go of my need to make the situation of our current group work for me, I felt so free. Finally! It has really bugged and paralyzed me socially for years. And feeling free to let that go is utterly different and fun. I can't believe it has taken so long.
Assuming I find a small band of like-minded parents, the girls would still attend their weekly group if they want to. They really enjoy the friendships there, and the activities, sometimes. But this is about me - about meeting my needs. I have to at least try to find people I can click with. It's that important.
So thank you Carrie!
Finding people to connect with is very important. I know some people seem to get what they need just being around anyone, but I, and I think you, aren't like that.
ReplyDeleteI personally find being with people I don't connect with more tiring than energizing.
I hope you find what you're looking for. Surely some like-minded people are looking for the same thing.
Jim
Awww, Kim, I'm so glad something I spouted off about on my blog inspired you!
ReplyDeleteI actually feel kind of silly because I realize how much easier it is for me because I live in a city where there are many more different kinds of communities in close proximity. Living in a less populated area, you have some real advantages in terms of proximity to nature, but not so much in terms of ease of finding like-minded folks!
Good luck!!! I wish we could hang out more, but the long drive seems to be a big obstacle. I'm hoping we can stay the night with you some time before we head over to Spring Hill for harvest days this summer!
Silly be damned! It is true - cities provide many more opportunities for connecting with like-minded groups. However, now that I've started actively seeking again I should have a better chance of finding them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we're close enough the the outlying areas of the cities that I will find some cook folks who, like me, are searching for more community.
I'll take good luck wishes...
-Kim, who is not logged in